I can say that I’m a lazy blogger; I seem to blog just when I have a major event , or I guess it’s the depression taking its toll on me , I feel fatigued all the time , mentally and physically , college is so demanding for a “RA-free” person , what about a person with RA .
People around me seems to have high expectations for me, but I don’t anymore, I just feel careless more than hopeless, for the first time in my life I skipped deadlines by my well, doing my exams depending on the information I gained from the lecture, I just CAN NOT do it, I feel exhausted in every way, people can’t get that sometimes you can’t meet those expectations and you just need to have a break. Laughing, talking and looking like nothing is wrong don’t mean that there’s nothing wrong.
Today I had a presentation about “Drugs and inflammatory joint disease” in my Pharmacology & Toxicology course, I guess this is the only part that I like about RA at this time , that I can talk about many things and answer any question in most of my presentations because they are related to RA in one way or another . it was a good presentation , the introduction was about inflammatory joint disease , then I talked about how “Simple analgesics” can never help with RA when they are taken alone on contrary when we use them with OA (I loved this part so much because I’m fed up with people thinking that RA=OA) ; I also discussed NSAID’s and their mechanism , action and side effects , I talked briefly about mtx because it was discussed in another chapter about cytotoxic drugs , finally I talked about biological agents. Here comes my favorite part , the part which I kind of hated to talk about but I did , I presented “60-Second Guide to RA” by my super hero rheumatoid arthritis guy , my instructor was impressed and she allowed me to talk about RA more if I wanted , I talked about RA for 3 -4 minutes only ,not because RA Guy did it all (which he did by the way) , but because I no longer want or like to talk about it , Although my instructor’s response was amazing and satisfactory , but most of the time you talk and answer all the questions and still get a response that kill everything inside you , I guess RA I something you must have it in order to understand it.
So I guess it’s the depression that’s makes talking, typing and everything so useless, meaningless and extremely hard to do.
At the end I just want to thank my dearest superhero “RA Guy”, for making RA feels much better for me in many ways … THANK YOU.
Stay tuned for another RA princess fairytale =)